caseyporn | projects | absolutfish

Duty free alcohol is one of those rare things in life which you never get over. The novelty never wears off. It's like every country is so glad to get rid of you, they're rewarding you with cheap grog! Anyway, on the way to The Land of the Long White Sheep, this little beauty caught my eye:

Well, "little" isn't quite the right word. Maybe I should have said "big". Perhaps "dangerous". Also "irresistable" works quite nicely. In case you were wondering exactly HOW big it is:

That big. Now, it may not be technially illegal to own a bottle this large, but it certainly felt like it. So, rather than be caught with the evidence, Da Boyz and I drank it.

Whilst awash with vodka, someone had the brilliant idea of turning the bottle into a fishtank.

So we did.

And this is our story.

When there are little fishy lives at stake, I like to plan everything carefully. I asked my good friend, Barnie the Two-Dimensional Fish, to test out the bottle.

Barnie gave it a big no-thumbs-up, which is about all you can expect for a two-dimensional thumbless fish. He did fit quite easily in the bottle, which was very encouraging. This was enough evidence for me to proceed with the real fish.

These little beauties cost me three dollars each - bargain! They were a little nervous when I got them home, so I left them to chat with Barnie for a while...

... with bad results. If you could read their little minds, they would be saying "what kind of owner do we have? He has a picture of a fish that he keeps calling Barnie!" They could think what they like, natural selection had left me with a prehensile grip, which was all I needed to put Nameless Fish 1 and 2 in their new home.

And they love it! Here's some gratuitous Fishies-In-A-Vodka-Bottle porn shots for you: And that, as they say, was that.

Think I'm a monster? Made your own fishtank and want to tell me about it? Really, I don't care, but if you must, you can mail me.